Snookerbacker

September 1, 2011

Mark Selby

Filed under: — snookerbacker @ 11:10 am

Name: Mark Selby

Nickname: Dreamboat

Walk on Music: Close to You – The Carpenters

Likes: Brylcreem. Tight t-shirts. The Golden Age of Hollywood. Beating Ronnie.

Dislikes: His ex-manager. Stubborn stains.

Why do birds suddenly appear? Everytime Mark is near? Well it’s possibly because they all want to get close to him to sniff his fragrant ever so feminine manfume. The makeover of the once gangly, spiky haired (slightly balding) Leicester lad into the 1950’s Hollywood icon in natty threads that graces our screens these days has been nothing short of metamorphiseismic, and if that ain’t a word well it jolly well should be and it should be used everytime Mark is on the telly. Not only does our Selbs have all the lasses and I dare say a few of the laddies of a certain persuasion swooning with his metrosexual fashion sense and wiggling buttocks, he is also a bit handy on the table. There is nothing he likes more than rocking from side to side before pouncing and taking Ronnie from behind. But even our Mark isn’t without his flaws, he used to be managed by a tramp, who before his million dollar makeover once even had the cheek to appear uninvited on TV to announce that poor old Selbs was broke and owed him a stack of dosh. But we didn’t believe a word of it and since then he has piled up the readies and married the lovely Vicky to establish the baize’s very own Posh and Becks combo. Vicky no doubt is a sucker for the razor sharp Chaplinesque slapstick one liner visual comedy routines that the Jester tries out on her before having us all roll in the aisles in public. Good old Jester.

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