March 1, 2018

INTRODUCING: The Players v Fans Snooker Prediction Championship

Filed under: snookerbacker @ 11:22 am

A Real Giraffe

In an increasingly rare moment of genius yesterday I had a light bulb moment. It’s long been leveled at us mere mortals that we don’t know what we are on about when it comes to snooker and only the players themselves can truly know the ins and outs of all things baizey. Well, I thought, why don’t we put that theory to the test?

So, I quickly sought permission from Barry Hearn to run a snooker prediction contest, pitting the wits of self-proclaimed shrewdies against some of the sharpest cuemen in the world. I had to check with our beloved chairman that this was not going to land any of the potters in lumber before I approached them to see if they were interested.

It’s a fun contest, it’s not at all linked to betting or the bookies, but what it will do is confirm once and for all who knows best, us numpties or the baize boys. The format will be announced in due course but in the meantime I’ve managed to secure a championship sponsor and (drum roll………) IT’S NOT A BOOKIE!!!

Yes, I am delighted to announce that the whole caboodle will be sponsored by – purveyors of the finest hand carved wooden animal sculptures this side of Indonesia. The winning team captain will receive a 2 metre wooden giraffe with the other team members each receiving a smaller replica. An added spice is that the individual competitor who finishes top of the prediction table will also receive their very own giraffe to show off to their friends (not a real one).

I bought my mum one of their cats for Christmas and I can vouch for the quality, furthermore, as a special gift to blog followers you can simply fill in the code ‘TEAMNUMPTY’ with any order and receive a whopping 15% discount at their website.

The competition itself will begin next week with the Gibraltar Open when we’ll have the first glimpse at the picks from the shrewdies and the potters. So without further ado, let’s meet the teams…..


Mark Allen (@pistol147) – Northern Ireland’s finest steps up to the plate to put his money where his taped-up mouth is and hopes to follow up his recent Masters triumph with a two metre giraffe to sit proudly next to it on his mantelpiece (I hope he has high ceilings). The Pistol is known for his fiesty character, which will surely give his teammates all the lift they’ll need if the numpties get too close for comfort on the leaderboard.

Barry Hawkins (@TheHawk147) – Like chalk and cheese, the quietly spoken Hawk has also taken on the challenge alongside the Ulsterman. His calm exterior hides the heart of a lion and we all know who lions like to hang out with in The Serengetti, yes that’s right, Giraffes. The former world championship runner-up will be hoping to go one better here and make the numpties rue the day they crossed The Hawk.

Michael Holt (@hitmanholt) – Now our Holty is a sensitive soul as we all know. He’s never short of an opinion or ten on anything you get him started on and when it comes to committing to something, the Hitman is your man. He’ll need to commit to as many winners as he can here or risk the wrath of his other half, Mrs Amy Hitman, who will no doubt be motivating him with her unique brand of encouragement from the sidelines.

Robert Milkins (@robmilkins147) – Gloucesterman Rob is nicknamed The Milkman and he’ll be hoping that the cream rises to the top of the table here. His quickfire style on the table is at odds with his relaxed demeanour off it but don’t go upsetting him or you’ll not be getting any gold top. So can the Milkman deliver the winners for his team here?

Joe Perry (@joegentlemanjoe) – The Gentleman brings that touch of class to proceedings. The aire of calm around Joe will surely add much needed stability to the mix of the team and stop Mark, Michael and Rob arguing over who gets the big giraffe after their certain triumph under Joe’s watchful eyebrows. I think Team Baize Boys would do a lot worse than let this particular gentleman guide them as captain.

Mike Dunn (@mikedunn147) – Dunny takes time away from calling Mark Williams a fat ape to engage in the competition. Often seen as the joker in the pack it’s down to serious business for him here, any predictions that may go wayward will surely be pounced upon by arch nemesis Williams, but Dunny will be determined to show his Welsh counterpart the sharp end of the giraffe where the sun don’t shine come summertime.


Dani (@esnukero) – The greatest tipster in all of Spain is the first of the hard hitters in Team Numpty. Back in the early days of the blog Dani won so many prizes in Tipster contests I was considering moving to Spain to save on the postage. Can his form hold up under the pressure again here?

One Step (@onestepsnooker)  Trusted wingman One Step is another with an undoubted tipping pedigree. His knowledge of snooker is second only to his encyclopedic knowledge of the Eurovision Song Contest, so if things start going astray in Team Numpty on the snooker predictions we’ll just throw in a Eurovision round to level things up again.

Deco (Deco800_) – The man who can spend value. Deco specialises in finding the winners that other tipsters cannot reach, his long odds outright pokes are the stuff of legend and if you’re looking for someone to build a house out of a pile of horse (or giraffe) shit, Deco with his long priced winners is your man. This numpty is here for the win, make no mistake.

Alec Peace (@alecpeace) This guy can match any of the dudes on the opposing team when it comes to opinions. His mouth is so big he could probably wedge it open with the 2 metre giraffe and he’s already making bullish noises about his credentials to top the individual table, despite us trying to tell him this is a team game. But this Shaun Murphy fanboy doesn’t listen to anyone, it’s his way, or the highway.

Matthew Lowson (@PLtheLegend) – If an anorak could walk and talk, it would be Matthew. His knowledge of snooker is enough to send an entire continent to sleep and he’ll be using all this wisdom to help guide his teammates through the murky waters. He’ll also bring a thermos flask of soup and a bag of mint imperials and he’ll be able to tell us without looking what time the train home is due and where to change.

Snookerbacker (@snookerbacker) – They’ve blown the budget to get this fella. Snooker’s biggest crowd puller is surely the difference between success and failure here. A masterful tipster, handsome, articulate, clever and funny, how can the opposing team possibly have the audacity to think they can win? Give me that giraffe now, it’ll go nice in the East Wing.


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