June 21, 2010

The Premier Circus Comes To Town and Alex Higgins MBE?

Filed under: snookerbacker @ 7:26 am

Roll Up Roll Up, but not tight behind a baulk colour, that's not allowed.

Regular readers on here will know that I don’t like the Premier League.

If you like your snooker fast and furious. If you despise safety duels, want the eradication of the dump shot to the history books and would rather the players wore roller skates around the table then it’s the event for you.

The pockets are templated using a direct cast of Stephen Lee’s arse, the breaks come thick and fast and Ringmaster Barry Hearn has somehow managed to convince the masses that this is snooker’s showpiece event.

I won’t be covering it in great (or any) detail on here as I dislike the whole event, this isn’t snooker, this is pool on a snooker table and as one of the type of fans that Barry’s new plan doesn’t seem to prioritise, I won’t be watching it either.

But I realise that not everyone is as bloody miserable as I am when thinking about Barry’s Travelling Clownfest so I will therefore dutifully list below the runners and riders and the places that you are able to catch the freak show.

At least Selby got an invite this year and you had to chortle at Barry’s fake smile when Marco Fu won the Championship to qualify for this, you just know he wanted Mark Allen to win it. John Higgins is obviously persona non grata, the beginning of his financial demise I think.

2010 Premier League Snooker

The Premier League 2010 players: Ronnie O’Sullivan, Shaun Murphy, Neil Robertson, Ding Junhui, Mark Selby, Mark J. Williams and Marco Fu.

All events run from 7.30pm to 11pm apart from the one in Preston on September 30. This begins at 6pm and finishes at 11pm. Toffee Apples and Candy Floss stalls will be available at all events and John Higgins will be locked in the stocks for people to throw tomatoes at during the interval (50p a bucketful). All covered live on Sky.

Week 1 – September 2 – Southampton Guidhall
Shaun Murphy v Ding Junhui, Ronnie O’Sullivan v Marco Fu

Week 2 – September 16 – Plymouth Pavilions
Mark Selby v Mark Williams, Ronnie O’Sullivan v Ding Junhui

Week 3 – September 30 – Preston Guild Hall
Marco Fu v Shaun Murphy, Ding Junhui v Mark Williams, Neil Robertson v Mark Selby

Week 4 – October 7 – Brentwood Leisure Centre, Essex
Mark Selby v Ding Junhui, Ronnie O’Sullivan v Shaun Murphy

Week 5 – October 14 – Inverness Leisure Centre
Mark Selby v Marco Fu, Neil Robertson v Mark Williams

Week 6 – October 21 – Spiceball Leisure Centre, Banbury, Oxfordshire
Neil Robertson v Ding Junhui, Marco Fu v Mark Williams

Week 7 – October 28 – Penrith Leisure Centre
Marco Fu v Ding Junhui, Ronnie O’Sullivan v Mark Williams

Week 8 – November 4 – Hutton Moor Leisure Centre
Marco Fu v Neil Robertson, Shaun Murphy v Mark Selby

Week 9 – Nov 11 – Grimsby Auditorium
Shaun Murphy v Mark Williams, Ronnie O’Sullivan v Neil Robertson

Week 10 – November 18 – Venue Cymru, Llandudno, Wales
Ronnie O’Sullivan v Mark Selby, Shaun Murphy v Neil Robertson

Semi-finals Nov 27 Potters Leisure Resort, Hopton on Sea, Norfolk
Semi-finals are the first to five.
1st v 4th
and 2nd v 3rd

Final – Nov 28 – Potters Leisure Resort, Hopton on Sea, Norfolk
The final is the first to seven.
Winner of semi-final 1 v winner of semi-final 2.

Talking of lost causes I also noticed that the Belfast Telegraph reports that a top loyalist in Northern Ireland is calling for Alex Higgins to receive an MBE ‘before the shrivelled snooker legend dies’. Nice.

Hard to Swallow: John could just give it to Alex?

Given Alex’s untarnished past, this is surely in the bag. In fact lets go the whole hog and give him a knighthood for services to the hairdryer industry. Or perhaps he can give young master Higgins a call and just change the ‘J’ to an ‘A’, as this would save the dear old Queen a bit of dosh and also save on the postage when she has to write to John to get his back off him. Just an idea from a loyal subject maaam (I know she reads this).

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