May 11, 2010

The Old Codgers Take to the Baize: The World Seniors Championship 2010 with Latest Odds

Filed under: snookerbacker @ 2:11 pm

The people of Bradford can hardly contain their excitement

Zimmer Frames, walking sticks, mid-frame naps, conversations about the price of fish and regular toilet intervals are the order of the day when the first World Seniors Championship for 19 years hits the unsuspecting town of Bradford starting on the 28th May with the qualifiers to the main event.

Some familiar names of yesteryear will be battling it out for the right to be crowned chief Old Geezer. They will be joined by some current decent players who are thoroughly prepared to take a bit of easy cash off the nostalgic fools.

The qualifiers will be held at the hysterically named ‘Cue Gardens’ in Bradford on 28-30 May.

The players set to feature include Bolton Stud and all round ladies man Tony Knowles (standing room only for his matches on account of the Bradford Womens Institute buying all the tickets), the still active on the circuit and pushing for a top 16 place in the regular tour next season Tony Drago, Grimsby and Eurosport’s own Mike ‘Has anyone got a rope’ Hallett, the Silver Fox and all round dish David ‘Helloooo Ladies’ Taylor, Stoke Greengrocer and Banana Lover Dave ‘Big’ Harold, Nigel ‘Licensed to Pot Geraniums’ Bond, the Outlaw and renowned tee-totaller Joe ‘just a half for me’ Swail plus another mystery player to be announced.

My sources have it that John Higgins has pitched his hat into the ring but in his now trademarked dimwit style he declared on the form that he was 51, this was hastily checked against existing records by the eagle-eyed World Snooker team who deemed his application ‘unsuitable’ and were seen promptly telephoning a Sunday Newspaper with ‘exclusive details’ of the application. Anyway, I think it’s probably going to be Darren ‘I’m Welsh’ Morgan.

Former World Snooker Champion, Joe Johnson who has cockily seeded himself ahead of the names above and is one of the key people behind this new event stated:  “Snooker fans have been crying out for this type of event and I am sure that we will do our best to put on an entertaining Championship.  There are only a limited number of tickets available so fans should book their seats now!”

He said this without even a hint of desperation whilst standing on top of a soap box with a huge loudspeaker flashing his red shoes and shouting ‘Remember me?’ to unsuspecting shoppers in Bradford City Centre.

Knowles: Stud.

Anyway, after the qualifiers the real big guns take over and they will consist of seven world champions – Steve ‘The Nuggett’ Davis, John ‘Gutted he retired now Higgins is gonna get kicked out and he could have his card back’ Parrott, Ken ‘The Giggler’ Doherty, Dennis ‘Watch him disappear to the bookies if he has a 138 to lay off’ Taylor, Alex ‘They’re all at it’ Higgins, Peter ‘Barry’s Nemesis’ Ebdon and good old JJ himself – as well as serial runner up Jimmy ‘The Jungle Whirlwind from Old London Town Get me Out of Here’ White who will be seeded through to the final stages of the over 40’s event in November.

The last time the event was held Cliff Wilson beat Eddie Charlton 5-4 in the final of the 1991 World Seniors Championship. Sadly a re-enactment of this final is something even Joe’s magical marketing and promotional skills could not pull off on account of them both being dead.

There will be plenty of relief on hand for aches and pains

There have been other seniors events since but this is the first to carry the World Championship title and will carry prize money of a pretty healthy £50,000, plus a lifetime supply of Uncle Joes Mint Balls.

Old Uncle Joe himself said: “I have been working very hard to pull this concept together and I am glad that with World Snooker’s help we are making it a reality”.

“I cannot wait to get out on the floor and battle it out with my old friends and adversaries”.

The televised final stages will be held at Cedar Court Hotel, Bradford from November 5-7.

It has not yet been confirmed who will be covering the event.

Tickets for the qualifiers are available either through the World Snooker website or through Fat Cyril the Tout at the British Legion Club just opposite the NCP Car Park, second left, knock on the door three times and when a face appears at the letterbox say the words ‘Mint Balls’ and he’ll let you in. If you say you read about him on here he’ll probably give you a discount. Nice one Cyril.

Latest Odds from Paddy Power: 5/2 Ebdon, 7/2 Doherty, 4/1 Davis, 7/1 Swail, 8/1 Bond, Harold, 10/1 White, 16/1 Drago, 20/1 Parrott, 66/1 Morgan (unconfirmed remember), 100/1 Knowles, Hallett, 125/1 Johnson, 150/1 Taylor, Taylor, The Hurricane.

Well, I can spot the value, can you?

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