Snookerbacker

February 26, 2010

The Clapped Out Club Part Deux

Filed under: snookerbacker @ 1:18 pm

Doddy has arranged for Michaela to meet the Diddymen on a trip to the Jam Butty Mines of Knotty Ash.

After all the excitement of the early matches, this afternoon sees a new crop of the wounded and infirm take to the baize to see who can join the four successful chaps from this morning for tonight’s gripping finale.

Apparently after seeing the impressive girth and form of 5-0 winner Les Dodd this morning, match referee Michaela Tabb decided to up sticks, leave her husband and head off to sunny Southport with the Merseyside Funnyman, she is particularly looking forward to meeting his equally witty brother, Ken, at the forthcoming engagement party. I hope they’ll both be very happy.

Poor old Ali Bassiri continued his miserable run of defeats becoming the first casualty of the event, I’m sure John Higgins will be mightily relieved that one of the ‘faces’ was sent packing so early. But there’s always next year for another tilt at the title for Ali B whose day must surely come. Anyway, it’s a bit unfair that he had to play someone who can hit 80 breaks, they know he’s a slow starter, what chance did he have? We also had to wave a tearful premature goodbye to the Silver Fox who can now concentrate his efforts on getting the beds made for when Norman Cook and the rest of the band visit to breed later in the year.

So what are we to make of this motley crew this afternoon? It seems that information on this lot is even harder to come by than this morning. Del Smith is an annual visitor to this event and usually holds his own. Last year, Ormerod hammered Flight, Smith hammered Ormerod and Seaton beat Cavney.

Old Slow Coach Barry West and Bill Oliver are newcomers to this and it’s difficult to fathom their reasons for entering, unlike Nic Barrow who appears to be taking this quite seriously. A former coach to none other than Ronnie himself, the 39 year old former pro clearly feels he has a point to prove here. He is quoted at World Snooker as saying:

Heaven knows he was miserable then. Nic Barrow spent much of his youth listening to The Smiths

“The only reason I used to play was to be World Champion and World No 1, I lost a lot, including having a family and close relationships, by keeping my nose too close to the ground and trying too hard to achieve those goals. I was pulled like a windsock by those goals and I was always comparing myself to other players on the ranking list. I didn’t breathe the joy of life, in fact I was quite miserable”.
 
Blimey, he’s quite deep for a snooker player.
 
“This time, I made a pact with myself that I won’t be obsessively devoted to the future vision. I love the experience of playing snooker so I just want to enjoy that and play in the moment, in the way that monks enjoy meditation or yogis enjoy their yogi moves.  I have been practising and I feel so good at the table. I realised that I’ve been telling other people how to play snooker for the last ten years, so maybe I should try a taste of my own medicine!  I’m just going there for a game of snooker. I don’t want to be dominated by targets”.
 
Nic is clearly smarter than the average bear.
 
“Of course the objective is to win, but that is not the reason for playing. If the only thing I get out of entering is to lose the two stone I have shed to get back into my waistcoat, then it will be worth it – so overall I have already achieved my objective.”
 
While he protests that he failed because he put too much pressure on himself. He is clearly still taking this a bit more seriously than some of the others, has he really learnt his lesson? And he could have just bought a new waistcoat and stayed fat – he needs to speak to Doddy, he’s fat and happy.

The 2.30pm starts are:

Barry ‘Morpheine’ West v Christopher Flight

Del ‘boy’ Smith v Phil Seaton

Bill Oliver v Nic ‘The Wheel’ Barrow

Stephen Ormerod v Paul Cavney  

UPDATE: THE ODDS ARE NOW UP AT SPORTINGBET. NO CHANCES BEING TAKEN ON BARROW OR SMITH, BOTH PITCHED AT 2/7. IF ANYONE HAS BARRY WEST’S PHONE NUMBER RING AND ASK HIM HOW HE’S PLAYING WILL YOU. IF HE’S PLAYING TO EVEN A HALF DECENT STANDARD THE 5/6 ON HIM COULD BE THE BET OF THE DAY.

In terms of a bet you’d have to take a look at the price they offer on Barrow and Smith. Flight is another serial loser but without knowing anything about Barry West’s form it’s a risky one. Given the unsuccessful punt this morning I won’t be having another bet on these as it’s largely guesswork and there are plenty of more solid opportunities from Sunday onwards. The preview for all the first 16 matches proper will be up when this part of the tournament is at an end. 

I’m otherwise engaged tonight so won’t be able to preview the tense finals, but tomorrow the lucky four will be pitched against James Wattana, Jordan Brown, Michael White and Brendan O’Donoghue. Will any of them overturn a main tour pro?

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