February 18, 2010

Snooker goes all X Factor

Filed under: snookerbacker @ 8:20 am

Ronnie - Looking for the next, ermm, Ronnie.

Ronnie O’Sullivan has decided to follow the example of the great man Simon Cowell and get involved in Snooker’s very own version of the popular televisual phenomenon that is the X Factor.  

The Rocket is teaming up with snooker club giants Rileys in an attempt to find ‘the next big thing’ by scouring the country through a series of ‘Future Stars’ events.  

The first round of ‘auditions’ will involve six-reds knock-out style events for under-16s starting 27th March. These will be competed for under the watchful eyes of those renowned snooker experts Ant and Dec, who will have tearsticks and power ballads at the ready for the saddest and most euphoric outcomes. 

Each of the winners, will then go head-to-head at regional venues until eight of the youngsters remain.

Cheryl - 'Don't let me put you off pet'

The eight finalists will then head for ‘boot camp’ in Sheffield (sounds tough) during the World Championship where they will be coached by some of the game’s top players, including Cheryl Cole, Danni Minogue and that other little fella that manages those lovely boys Westlife.

Damien Hurst and that bloke who sings that rubbish song Ronnie likes will also be watching their progress, Hurst will be adopting his usual pose; motionless from behind a pair of oversized spectacles, as our Daymo will do anything to get on telly. 

They will then be put through their paces in a series of skills tests, designed by Ronnie himself, to test potting, safety, tactical awareness and even temperament (what? temperament coached by Ronnie? Someone get John Higgins on the phone quick).

In a late twist, pretty boy Quinten Hann will also be involved in the coaching side of things teaching the lucky eight the art of narrowly missing frame ball under the watchful eye of Jamie Burnett, who will be there in a purely advisory capacity.

Ronnie will then select the eventual winner who will get a bit of dosh and access to coaching expertise from the Rocket himself. Ronnie, the snooker ambassador for Rileys said: “Firstly, this youngster will have to love the game. Then, he or she will need pots of talent (see what he did there?) And probably most important of all, the desire to go all the way. The winner will work on cue skills and strategies with me, and I will do everything I can to help.”

Cowell - A Banker

Barry Hearn is also very excited about this: “This is exactly what snooker requires. A top player like Ronnie O’Sullivan getting involved at the grassroots of the game”
An excited Bazza continued: “What a fantastic opportunity for the youngster who comes out on top and gets Ronnie as his mentor and trainer. The WPBSA is right behind this. I will be watching the players’ progress all the way.”

Clearly the green baize powers that be see this popularist Cowell-esque move as something of a banker. We’ll await developments with baited breath.

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